Turning diffult messages into Courageous Conversations

Earlier this week, I co-facilitated a session on Courageous Conversations with Ali Gardner. One of the recurring themes on the course is about situations where you have a difficult message to convey and how you can turn these into a courageous conversation – avoiding the information dump in favour of a meaningful exploration of a sensitive issue. To help with this, we introduced course participants to Ali’s me-you-us framework, which she developed as part of her Research in Practice briefing paper on difficult conversations (out soon).

The framework encourages you to build an empathic connection with the other person by thinking through how you can best have the conversation and what the other person’s perspective is likely to be. What might be going on for them during the conversation? How can you ensure they feel they have agency and dignity?

Our course participants tried this out in their practice and came back with lots of fascinating insights. They talked about how going through the framework prior to a conversation helped them clarify what was important to them. And by extending their perspective to the other person, they changed how they engaged with that person, offering reassurance and ‘relational certainty’.

Connecting with empathy isn’t always easy, particularly when the stakes are high and powerful emotions are surfacing. In these situations, a framework like me-you-us can really help prepare not just for how to convey a difficult message but to turn this into a courageous conversation that deepens relationships. That’s why we thought we’d share the framework with you.

So, what kinds of conversations do you usually have when you have to give difficult messages?

If you’re eager to have more courageous conversations – whether in your work or home life – then click the button below to find out more about our course and how it could help you. Ali and I will start with our next cohort in January.

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